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State:
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PHOTOS SHOW BRITNEY SPEARS SMOKING CIGARETTES WITH HER BABY
Source: BSNews (satire)


Jun 1, 2006 -- NEW YORK - On Wednesday a photographer caught Britney Spears at a popular Manhattan cafe smoking cigarettes with her infant son Sean Preston. During her two hour lunch the pregnant pop-star smoked seven cigarettes, sharing each with her 6-month old. Spears repeatedly rested cigarettes in her baby’s mouth, apparently in an effort to teach him how to smoke.

Photographer Thomas Ort, who took the photos from the roof of a nearby building, says Spears obviously thought she was out of view from paparazzi. Ort, who has released just one image of baby Sean with a cigarette in his mouth, is currently fielding offers for the rest averaging upwards of $4 million dollars.

“I don’t think she had any idea she was being watched,” said Ort. “She was just sitting there, blowing smoke in her baby’s face, smiling and laughing away the whole time. I was shocked to say the least.”

Waiter Lance Fairey waited on Spears and verified these events, saying that the baby was fussing at first, but eventually seemed to enjoy it.

“The baby cried for the first hour,” said Fairey, “and then he seemed to burn himself and screamed bloody murder for another half an hour. But eventually he calmed down and started to imitate his mother, sucking on the cigarette like it was a pacifier.”

Following close on the heels of photos showing Spears almost dropping her baby, as well as facing her baby the wrong way in the car, these new photos will likely have a damaging effect on the starlet’s career.

Ort’s lawyer Allan Petz says public outrage from these photos could possibly lead to Spears losing custody of her children to the government.

“When people see the rest of these photos, they’re going to want her arrested, plain and simple,” said Petz. “And the authorities will be hard-pressed to look the other way. She is guilty of criminal negligence. Her children would be better off with Brangelina.”

Others have taken a more sympathetic stance. Avid Spears supporter, smoker, and Alabama mother of five Gloria Fell, 22, says she “knows how Britney feels.”

“Raising kids can get real lonesome,” said Fell. “You don’t have nobody to hang out and smoke cigarettes with. She’s under constant watch from the media, and her marriage is falling apart. That’s enough to make anyone want to smoke.”

Rumors of an impending divorce from Kevin Federline have plagued Spears for months. She's said to be mulling leaving New York to get away from the ever-present paparazzi.

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